The Pre-Nup is a legal agreement between the Pre-Nup Pub and our committed clientele.
We promise them to always provide the best beer selection in Toronto, from all over the world, as well as good food at affordable prices with efficient service all in the best atmosphere: No TV’s, no loud music.
In return, all clientele promise to remain loyal and faithful and attend one of our pubs at least once a week, WITH AT LEAST ONE FRIEND, and never to be unfaithful by drinking any generic beer for the rest of their lives! Also, they must promise to try every beer on tap within the first three months of signing this agreement. FAILURE TO COMPLY will result in the client being sent to a Halfway Beer House (Town Crier Pub) at 115 John St., where he/she will learn about quality beers and proper drinking. Then he/she shall be forced to sit at home alone in the basement to be PUNISHED by drinking a Labatt and a Molson beer everyday for a week, and shall give up all his/her assets to charity. And his/her spouse shall be allowed to drink all our great beers at The Pre-Nup Pub, file for divorce, and report to the Halfway Beer House before curfew (last call). Though if he/she repeats his/her sin, he/she shall have to go to the Village Idiot Pub (126 McCaul St.), and declare to everyone that HE/SHE IS the VILLAGE IDIOT, and he/she will never be allowed in our pubs again.
In order to redeem himself/herself he/she shall go to Sunday mass to confess his/her sins to Father Santos at St. Patrick Church across from Sin & Redemption Pub, where he/she will pray to the God of Beers for forgiveness, and then he/she shall be allowed to have a glass of La Trappe Quad, followed by a bottle of Chimay Blue, and a Duvel at Sin & Redemption (136 McCaul St.) once a day and live happily ever after. If he/she is compliant for 1 year, and NEVER DRINKS AND DRIVES, he/she shall be knighted by the owner in our annual ceremony and will be given 2 bottles of the best beer in the world Westvleteren 12.
This agreement cannot be contested without the consent of the 7 Trappist monasteries.
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